4 out of 5 experts agree that perception trumps reality 5 out of 4 times. The 5th expert appears to be playing the role of devil’s advocate, but they really just don’t care. Perception’s power can be difficult to manage when mishandled. You and I have both lived out one of many cliches at some point–you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, don’t judge a book by its cover, it’s the same shit but a different smell–so no one’s the exception.
Growing up, looking cool gets you into the carpool lane towards popularity, carrying the stigma of being all glitz and glamour and discarding any notion that it isn’t. Drinking the corporate kool-aid and “managing up” lets you climb the career ladder quickly because your manager’s manager’s manager doesn’t have the time to care about your actual performance. More commonly, this phenomenon weighs heavily in the world of dating. For instance, flirting too much gets you labeled a slut. Flirting too little gets you labeled a prude. Being too nice tags you as a pushover. Being too much of an asshole tags you as…well, an asshole. So how can we best navigate this tangled web to put ourselves in the most advantageous position for successful sexy time? By mastering the art of your impressions…which can often start (and sometimes end) with your Facebook profile.
Facebook 102: Perception Optimization
What you see is rarely what you get when stalking people on “the book.” Profiles are just billboards used to illustrate how one person’s life appears more sexy, funny, exciting, expensive, & interesting than yours. It doesn’t matter if it really is, just as long as it appears that way. It’s also a tool for others to keep tabs on what you’re doing, where you’re at, and who you’re with. You reap what you sow, so take note…
Profile Information:
Who Cares: Those that want to know if you’re single. They’ll look for that infamous Relationship Status label.
What to Consider: Don’t lie about where you work or where you went to school, someone will call you out. The more “quotes” that you include only makes your profile too tedious to look at. Also, be aware of the repercussions associated with the “In a relationship with _____” status, because if/when that name changes, everyone will know.
Who Doesn’t Care: Everyone else. Seriously.
Picture Uploads/Tagged Photos:
Who Cares: If you’re posting remotely enticing/intriguing pics, almost everyone will at least skim over whatever you upload. Spice up the title of your album or add some witty captions to mobile uploads because you’ll be judged on what you choose to share and how you do it. You lose points if the picture is lame or the captions unfunny. Also, anyone that wants to get weird with you will definitely check out posted pictures.
What to Consider: If you’re heterosexual and single, be cautious when posting pictures of you and one other person of the opposite sex. Your posture, expressions, perceived physical contact, attire…it’s all being critiqued. Make sure the other person is good-looking to raise your stock…at least a “7.” Don’t post pics of you making out with random people, that’s not classy. Smile in your pictures, it’s better than trying to look tough. We all know that you’re not. However, if you’re sporting the same smile in every single picture, that’s boring. You’ll come off as too contrived and fake, and no one likes to look at the pics that you think you look best in, we want to see embarrassing or funny stuff. Also, beware the “deja vu” or “time machine” effect that occurs when you wear a noticeable shirt/accessory too often, causing it to transcend the FB photo timeline. It’s not a deal-breaker, but just know that we’ll notice.
Who Doesn’t Care: If your pictures are lame, then the answer is “everyone.” Otherwise, it’s really just the Haters-those jealous that they can’t travel with you, eat like you, look like you, or hang out with hot people like you do.
Your Wall Posts/Check-ins:
Who Cares: Anyone that hasn’t hid you from their Newsfeed yet: romantic interests, friends, stalkers and parents because they’re all wondering where (and with who) you’d rather be spending your time instead of them.
What To Consider: For check-ins: You’ll automatically be linked to whomever you tag or are tagged with at some place. If you don’t want people to know that you’re on a date, abuse the Tag Friends With You feature and add some phantom attendees. If you don’t want your boss to know that you’re not really sick on a Friday, avoid being checked at the sports bar. If you’re not really doing anything but don’t want to appear like a lame lazy-ass, tell friends to check you in where they are. No one will really know/care to verify it, but the fact that your Activity Log has recent updates is enough to make it appear that you do shit and have actual friends. For Wall Posts: It’s a way for others to stake claim on you. Inside jokes posted on your Wall, cryptic or flirtations emoticons, or a simple hello can be derived a number of ways. Even the subtle “Like” button won’t go unnoticed. So be aware of who is trying to mark their territory, and be aware that others will know if you’re trying to mark them as your territory.
Who Doesn’t Care: Those that hid you from their Newsfeed…and there are plenty.
I think, therefore I am (to me).