Archive for December, 2008

Merry Christmas

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

I question those that write it as “Xmas,” especially if they’re a Christian. There are several trains of thought surrounding the elimination of “Christ” from the word, about how it makes it more PC and inclusive for those that don’t believe in Christ and/or Christianity and turns it into one of those Hallmark holidays. I don’t care for it. We grew up saying “Christmas.” We don’t rename other religiously based celebrations (Ramaḍān, Hanukkah, Festivus), why are we scared to be associated with Christianity?

I previously owned three customized bicycles. The sentimental value far outweighed the time and money that I invested into them, so when some thieves decided to break into my apartment building and steal two of them, it was more painful than anyone else would understand. Hindsight is a bitch, so I don’t dwell on what could’ve been prevented or changed, but it has lit a fierce anger in my soul that wishes nothing but harm and destitute to all those that cheat their way through life on another’s dime. I never want to wish harm on someone else, so I’ll just say that I wish that their mothers will be hit by buses and their children stricken by a devastating illness.

Everyone deserves to experience happiness. It’s all relative, I know, but as long as you understand that, you’ll start treating both yourself and others a lot better. I need to travel…somewhere, not here. It’s a different perspective–enlightening, exciting and humbling. I’m just tired of waking up on a weekday and not always being happy to start the day. It’s a waste of energy to be bitter and angry, especially when I’m young. I’m trying to take others’ advice and want what I have.

OK, enough with that emo bullshit. I think we should make “poo” talk more socially acceptable. It’s a funny topic, like farting, only more extreme. Pooing is the highlight of many of our days, no matter how much you deny it. The fact that our bodies can be conditioned to poo at certain points of the day or as a result of a certain food or drink is intriguing, borderline amazing.

I would spend one of my three wishes from a magical genie on being in one of the Big 3 boy bands in the late 1990s. I wouldn’t need the staying power of Justin Timberlake (although he’s one funny motherfucker on SNL, so that wouldn’t be so bad), just the royalties and comical notoriety that comes when one of the old songs comes on the radio or Pandora.

Here’s a funny picture to make your day:
hah.jpg

like a dog

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

Working on a Saturday sucks.

Think about it

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

11:03 AM Hate: did i tell you about the troll i amde out with a couple weekends ago? this girl had a five-head

11:04 AM me: lol you’re a dick

Hate: dude im serious

me: did you have beer blinders on

11:05 AM Hate: well i was dancing up a storm in wisconsin, blacked out of my mind…and this chick comes out of nowhere to start grinding with me, so im like ok cool. then my buddy pulled me away from her when i was making out with her on teh dance floor and said “what are you doing? she is hideous” right in front of her. she ran off, but i kept on dancing and started grinding with another chick. this one girl we knew there was like “he is cute, if i didnt have a boyfriend i would take him home” and then she immediately changed her mind once she saw me sucking face with a gargoyle

11:06 AM me: lol

11:07 AM Hate: friends dont let friends make out with ugly whales

burk.jpg

Debatable

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

The mere thought of blogging makes me want to puke.  Yet, as I sit here writing this I am encouraged by the countless stories of everyday idiots gaining temporary fame from things such as these types of entries.  Never in our history have we given the spotlight to so many undeserving people.  But in an effort to show the true spirit of internet forum debauchery, I have provided a link for one of the greatest phenomenon’s of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

 

You are welcome.

Get weird

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Someone else’s rancid B.O. can ruin your day. I wish I could have afforded to lose money on stocks. Korean BBQ restaurants make my clothes smell for days. Let’s travel.

Welcome to the Middle Child Syndrome Blog. It’s generally a waste of your time to read it. Generally.