Merry Christmas

I question those that write it as “Xmas,” especially if they’re a Christian. There are several trains of thought surrounding the elimination of “Christ” from the word, about how it makes it more PC and inclusive for those that don’t believe in Christ and/or Christianity and turns it into one of those Hallmark holidays. I don’t care for it. We grew up saying “Christmas.” We don’t rename other religiously based celebrations (Ramaḍān, Hanukkah, Festivus), why are we scared to be associated with Christianity?

I previously owned three customized bicycles. The sentimental value far outweighed the time and money that I invested into them, so when some thieves decided to break into my apartment building and steal two of them, it was more painful than anyone else would understand. Hindsight is a bitch, so I don’t dwell on what could’ve been prevented or changed, but it has lit a fierce anger in my soul that wishes nothing but harm and destitute to all those that cheat their way through life on another’s dime. I never want to wish harm on someone else, so I’ll just say that I wish that their mothers will be hit by buses and their children stricken by a devastating illness.

Everyone deserves to experience happiness. It’s all relative, I know, but as long as you understand that, you’ll start treating both yourself and others a lot better. I need to travel…somewhere, not here. It’s a different perspective–enlightening, exciting and humbling. I’m just tired of waking up on a weekday and not always being happy to start the day. It’s a waste of energy to be bitter and angry, especially when I’m young. I’m trying to take others’ advice and want what I have.

OK, enough with that emo bullshit. I think we should make “poo” talk more socially acceptable. It’s a funny topic, like farting, only more extreme. Pooing is the highlight of many of our days, no matter how much you deny it. The fact that our bodies can be conditioned to poo at certain points of the day or as a result of a certain food or drink is intriguing, borderline amazing.

I would spend one of my three wishes from a magical genie on being in one of the Big 3 boy bands in the late 1990s. I wouldn’t need the staying power of Justin Timberlake (although he’s one funny motherfucker on SNL, so that wouldn’t be so bad), just the royalties and comical notoriety that comes when one of the old songs comes on the radio or Pandora.

Here’s a funny picture to make your day:
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