Get some A’ss
Today’s commute began with what CA meteorologists have dubbed The Storm 2009, characterized by heavy doses of rain and…rain. Granted, high-water areas and unusually horrendous rush hour traffic is shitty, but to be given an 8.5/10 rating on a severity scale might be pushing it.
This got me thinking, are exaggerations really necessary when things are just too damn mundane?
SF weather is great 80% of the year, with daily temperature highs and lows typically fluctuating ~10 degrees (70°F to 60°F). For residents and tourists, it’s a wonderful thing. In terms of excitement/variety, it’s like a lecture on Art History to me. Throw in a day or two of moderately heavy rains and God forbid a burp of thunder, and we’ve got not just a storm, but THE storm of 2009. It’s similar to the “snow days” that some cities in Texas have during the winter. It’s really just frost/ice that accumulated over night (hence the quotes), but when a city like Austin grows accustomed 100+°F Summers and 80°F Autumns, frozen water is a Ron Burgundy…or a big deal, for the unenlightened.
Think about the stereotype of guys embellishing sex(less) stories, or girls doing just the opposite. Job interviews are perfect forums for exaggeration on both ends — the hiring manager making the opportunity sound more appealing while the applicant struggles to appear more qualified than he/she really is. On the same note, first dates would be fun to listen in on — It’s doubtful that he could’ve almost been a semi-pro baseball player if not for a freak genetically influenced injury, and it’s highly unlikely that she has never gotten blackout drunk.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not hating on exaggerations, I use them on a daily basis to make weekdays more tolerable. For instance, I’ll tell someone that I just demolished my cereal and fruit at breakfast, or that I went beast-mode on the burrito at lunch. Sometimes I’ll say that I crushed my presentation to management, or that my coworker blew up the bathroom. I’ve told the tale of my almost-but-not-quite collision with Sergey as I sped down the street on my bicycle as he jaywalked (he had stopped on the median when he saw me pedaling by, but I’m sure I would’ve almost hit him if he had decided to keep crossing and if I had consciously swerved to hit him). Then there’s my awful commute – in a private, clean, and free shuttle that supplies WiFi connectivity.
So why do people exaggerate? Mainly to get some A’ss {I added the extra “s” to make it look like “ass” because I’m immature} – attention, approval, acknowledgment & ass to name a few.
There are definitely times where perceived exaggerations are really warranted descriptions, though. Maybe she really was a whale, or he really smelled like dog shit sautéed in BO, just proceed with caution the next time someone’s details seem a little too outrageous…they’re likely after some A’ss.
Some nice exaggerations (tipoff in 2 weeks, cue the NBA on NBC theme)…
